Beauty in The Broken Bike

     I love to be creative. I do believe being creative isn't always the best way to deal with my anxiety but I also believe not allowing my creative side time and space can cause an increased level of my anxiety. I need to let it out. Not only do I need to let it out , I need to release it into the world and out of my presence. I feel this way about my art, my poems, my confessions, my tears. I don't want to keep it bottled up anymore.
      I have been keeping my eyes open for a symbolic piece of old trash that I could focus my creative soul on and turn into a treasure. I didn't know what I was looking for but I knew when I found it , I would just know it. Well I found it. A two person bike that is battered and beat and rusted and broken. The original parts are all there but they are weathered and have been put to the test. It is damaged but despite the obvouis neglect and damage that has been done to it over the years, the bike is still capable of being beautiful and redeemed and remade.
     I spent a few days just gazing at the rusted frame of this bike. Maybe I was just becoming familiar with the damage , but somehow I started to see the beauty in it without the imagined fixes. Maybe this bike isn't meant to be restored to its original form. Maybe it's story is worth sharing. The bike itself is not eye striking but with my creative side I can plant beautiful flowers in the basket on the handle bars. I can attach wired boxes to the frame and allow beautiful fruit to  grow. Strawberries and other sweet treats. Maybe the real reason why I love this bike is because I am trying to become familiar with my damage. Maybe I no longer wish to take it away but maybe its time to embrace it. My truth will never change. Only thing that is capable of change is my reaction to my damage. I am not responsible for the trauma and abuse and the neglect but despite all that , it is mine. It is mine because it was left in my life by others whom for some reason cared not for my humanity. Just like that bike I'm forever changed but just like the bike I can still grow beautiful things out of my heart. I am the beautifully broken bike.